I don’t want to waste everyone’s time here, we’ve all had our go around with this little lady. The craft beer worlds original cum bucket — well until they produce bottles with sex doll latex mouths, anyway. 

Comfortable, familiar, and decent. She’s the pioneer, the man-maker.  Age has taken its toll on her — all the new hotties on the block catch my attention first — but in dark times of need, old Sam is always there for you mass produced and ready to please. Past her prime but still gets the job done. 

It’s kind of like going to an 80s party where everyone dresses up in 80s costumes, getting drunk, and “accidentally” going home with some chick 30 years older than you who was actually partying in the 80s.  Presumably she just wandered into the party on a heroin induced stupor because she was drawn to music she likes and people who dress like her.  Yeah ok, so you made a mistake, sure she’s a hard 64 years old, but your still going to bang her.  She was probably great 30 years ago.  That’s how I feel every time I open a Sam Adams.  I don’t like you right now, but we are finishing the night together damn it.

3 hands free ejacs

Eh, 4. I’m being too hard on her.

Categories: Beer

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