Hahahahahahahaha!! There is a Super Bowl incentive clause in Sam Bradford’s contract!? Sam Bradford has a better chance of shitting in the Queen’s handbag than he does of winning the Super Bowl. Having this clause in his contract is the equivalent of me carrying around a condom in my wallet during freshman year of high school “just in case.”

The Cardinals are already 0-2 and look like they are going to be front runners for the #1 overall pick in next year’s draft. And Kurt Warner ain’t walking through that door folks. Pat Tillman ain’t coming out of retirement for a late season playoff push.

I don’t know what it is about Bradford, but there is something about him that just makes me hate him. I am sure he is a perfectly friendly and pleasant guy. He probably donates more than my annual salary to charity ever year. Wouldn’t even be surprised if he had his own foundation for kids who can’t read good. But for some reason, every time I hear about him, read about him or watch him, I can’t stand him.

As superficial as this sounds, I think part of it is that he just doesn’t look cool on the football field. I’m not going to try and define what makes a player look cool but it’s like what they say about pornography: “you know it when you see it.” It might be because his shoulder pads are oversized, or maybe because his body language is all wrong but tell me which one of these guys looks like a franchise quarterback and which one looks like a kicker that just missed a PAT:

 The second source of my hatred is that old Sammy boy has been paid an absolutely OBSCENE amount of money throughout his career for how mediocre of a QB he is. He has made an estimated $129,710,363 over his 9 years in the NFL. I try not to blame athletes for squeezing every last dollar they can out of billionaire owners but these numbers are laughable when you consider who we are talking about:

Comparing his earnings to Tom Brady’s will blow the tits right off your body:

  • He made $3M more than Brady in 2017. In that season, Brady won the NFL MVP and Bradford played a grand total of 2 football games.
  • His cash earnings have averaged $12.97M per season. Tom Brady has earned an average of $11.43M per season.
  • As a starter, he has earned an average of $3.82M for each win (34). Brady has earned an average of $1.10M per win (197).

Thank god Tom hitched his wagon to this cash cow:

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